Sarah hb

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

When the only way is forwards...

That's it folks. I'm done. I'm have myself a BA hon. and that can never be taken away from me. I've graduated from what is apparently the 4th best uni in the country after Oxford, Cambridge and ... ok I've forgotten the other but bottom line is that I'm pleased.

I'm stewarding again tomorrow from 2 - 5.30 and after that it's job hunting time. I've got a few part time things lined up that I'll go into once the work starts late september. The following year is not about selling my soul and getting some crumby (yet well paid) graduate job with a massive corporatation, it's all about finding direction and holding onto as much of my heart as possible. I can be living on peanuts but as long as I've found something that excites me then that will be enough (in my 20's at least).

Tonight is 'Last Exit' which I'm gonna go to and support three bands who are having to split up due to moving to different parts of the country. All three are good but I think Balloon Burning is my favourite. I'll try and post some of their stuff later (at the moment the guitarist has a solo myspace for it but it's hard to find stuff that's the whole band).

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

5 things that have made me sad and 5 things that have made me happy today.

Sad things:

1) The hairdresser messed up my hair cos she was a moronic individual (who also had nothing better to talk about than Big Brother at which point the 'conversation' well and truly died because I don't watch TV)

2) Esbjorn Svensson (from the jazz group EST) died over the weekend. Jazz won't be the same without him. Check out the EST song 'Goldwrap' here -

3) I'm going to be moving back to London soon now that uni is over. I'm going to really miss gigging with my little band and putting on other gigs in the area for different genres of music. Plus there are some people I won't be able to see as often as I do now. That's life though but sad nonetheless.

4) My university graduation. I'm really not looking forwards to it. I hate the falseness and show of it all. Pay about £100 in total for the 'pleasure' of getting handed a certificate whilst wearing a sticky robe (that god knows how many other people have worn) and then I'll have to have a photograph taken where I'll pretend to look happy and I'll look so grumpy because even if I try and fake it my eyes will give me away - eyes can't be forced to smile!

5) The graduation ball. I've paid £60 for a ticket but am regretting buying one now as I don't actually want to go. Seriously, call me cynical but standing/dancing around with about 10,000 people that I don't really know strikes me as quite an impersonal way to say goodbye to three years of further education (Guy Debord's 'united in our separateness' rings true right about now). I don't understand how a lot of these people can leave with decent degrees and yet still remain almost entirely uneducated/well... stupid (for want of a better word). It's as if they were born incapable of processing practical thought or without the ability to make a reasoned argument. Also... whenever I walk around campus I just seem to hear horribly stilted english as if they haven't read a book since they were about 5! Honestly, it sounds like they're talking in phone 'txt' speak. "O hai! hw u? Yeh i is a'rite thnx. u dun teh readin 4 tomoz lecter." For f*cks sake! You're 21/22! Learn how to bloody well speak! Grrrrrrrr!

Happy things:

1) Drums are being recorded in my flat at the moment :) CT is in the studio and S is playing in the live room/sitting room. It sounds great (and it's even sweeter that all the neighbours are out so they can't complain).

2) I'm going over to ML's later to hang out with her, NS and AR. We're going to sit around, eat vegetables and be generally misanthropic. Good times.

3) I'm excited about living with CT again next year. This year has been great with just the two of us in the flat and I can't wait for him and I to get a place in London as well. Is it weird that everything is just as exciting and great with him after two years as it was in the 'honeymoon period'? Most people say how the passion wanes but for us it still seems to grow. I sometimes wonder if it's all too good to be true. I spent years and years feeling unsettled and like I was waiting for a bus or train to arrive and no man, friend or activity could loosen that feeling until I met C. With him I feel like I've got on the bus/train and am just enjoying the journey but not desperate to reach the destination (which I guess is when you can sit down in an armchair at age 80 and look back retrospectively over your life).

4) Exams are very much over and I've got another 3 days off before part-time stewarding till the end of term.

5) I've deleted my university blog and had a ruthless clear out of literally hundreds of old emails. I feel much much better for it and now never have to accidentally stumble (or click upon) something that reminds me of bad times.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Old stuff and the new

Today I found something old (that I'd written about three years ago - hence poor use of semi colons):

99 word story:
She let live a heavy sigh. It did not change any world but hers; and it made her wonder, made her ponder, on every woe that engulfed her mind.
She thought, maybe, she had died in that deep, mental, well; or at least kept falling deeper.
When, eventually, she awoke; she saw her weary face reflected in her looking glass. “Where is that small and eager face?” She spoke out loud whilst already knowing the answer.
Alice knew that youth had had run away from her over the years and she could no longer fit down the rabbit hole.

I also found something new... Deputy Dog Blog. He has some really amazing facts on there.

In other news I've finished my finals at uni and am preparing to get a job in the 'real' world. Good times.